Dream Boat:

• Large (I'm not talking about crotch-growth. I want me a 250- pounder)
• BEARDLY - this is probably the most important aspect
• Southern
  
• Tattoos
  
• Guitar ( acoustic, of course)
  
• Literate
  
• Quiet
  
• CAN TAKE AN OFFENSIVE JOKE WITHOUT BEING OFFENDED
• Music and Movie taste that not only mirror my own, but better my own

Yeah I've pretty much described Kevin from Top Chef, or Andy Hull from The Manchester Orchestra, but they're both taken :(

I'm never gonna find one of these, but a girl can dream, right? right?????